Ecumenical Ephebophilia

The Vatican's permanent observer at the United Nations, Archbishop Silvano Tomasi, has placed his church's paedophilia motes in due perspective by pointing out a few beams in other people's eyes. He quoted the Christian Science Monitor to the effect that most American churches with paedophilia scandals were Protestant, and that sexual abuse occurs within Jewish communities as well. He noted that "sexual abuse was far more likely to be committed by family members, babysitters, friends, relatives or neighbours", although he does not appear to have gone so far as to reiterate Christ's prophylactic commandments about the holy breakup of the family unit. The Archbishop also claimed that, at a maximum, only one-twentieth of Catholic clergy - oh, a mere trifle - were involved in sexually abusing children. Even among those involved, it appears that eighty to ninety per cent are afflicted not with paedophilia but with ephebophilia, a different and far less well-known Greek word meaning a sexual attraction to "adolescent boys between the ages of 11 and 17"; although, unless the Catholic church plans to balance its re-adoption of the Tridentine Mass by conceding the Jewish superstition as to the age of majority, it is difficult to see how much difference this makes. The Archbishop stated that the Vatican was "busy cleaning its own house", having found itself regrettably unable to keep the skeletons in the closet and the dirt under the carpet for ever and ever amen. Unfortunately he does not seem to have mentioned the Vatican's attitude to dippoldism, another very popular devotional activity; although I am sure many would welcome clarification as to whether Mother Church still disapproves of corporal punishment - as with homosexuality - only between consenting adults.