The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Nor Scrip For Your Journey

Officials of the Christian Civil War's ascetic wing have warned their fellow Italians against the local lottery, in which over a hundred million pounds stand to be won, apparently without the participation of the god by whose will the Vatican does not starve. According to Britain's leading liberal newspaper, the lottery "plays on Italy's superstitious fondness for numerology, particularly in the south", in contrast to the wholly rational popularity of the National Lottery in the United Kingdom, enthusiasts of which calculate their chances according to the laws of higher mathematics and receive their prizes with the civilised gravitas one would expect from the nation that gave the world Rebekah Wade, Paul Dacre and Richard Littlejohn. The Italian superstition about numbers is "a thorn in the side of church leaders", perhaps because it reminds them of a certain unpleasant animal with seven heads and ten horns, and on the horns ten crowns, or another undesirable organism with a name which is numbered six hundred and sixty-six.

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