A Breath of Clean Air

The attempt by Daveybloke, the Cuddly Conservative, to form a Cuddly Coalition of those European parliamentarians for whom the likes of Silvio Berlusconi are too left-wing has run into a bit of bother after one of Daveybloke's MEPs sabotaged a back-stairs deal to get the Polish right-winger Michal Kaminski elected vice-president. Edward McMillan-Scott, who calls himself a loyal Conservative despite apparently having reservations about homophobia and racism, disobeyed Daveybloke's orders to give Kaminski a clear run; Kaminski failed to win the vice-presidency, and the Polish Law and Justice dignitaries threatened to pick up their marbles and leave unless he was given the leadership of Daveybloke's Cuddly Coalition as a booby prize. Since the Polish delegation has only about three-fifths the number of seats held by the Conservatives, this arrangement doubtless appealed to Daveybloke's sense of fair play, which has not suffered noticeable pangs at the likelihood of his party gaining an absolute majority in the British parliament with less than forty per cent of the vote.