The Curmudgeon


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Various Papers

With the Government moribund and the Glorious Successor too safe a pair of hands to undertake any of the meaningful political reforms that might stop him, Daveybloke the Cuddly Conservative has decided he can afford to show just how much he has matured since his days of burping Rule Britannia in the Bullingdon. Speaking at a blather-in at Norwich North, Daveybloke made a sophisticated witticism in which his principled objection to ID cards and his career-preserving objection to foreigners were seamlessly expressed in a single economically-responsible breath. Putting on a German accent, he said: "Where are your papers?" No doubt his chums in the Polish Gay-Bashers' League were rolling in the aisles, but inevitably someone in Norwich North had a Teutonic sense of humour: "I wonder about the wisdom of you adopting a German accent," she said; to which Daveybloke explained that "It was meant to be light-hearted". Well, so that's all right then. If there's one thing guaranteed to bury once and for all the Conservatives' reputation as an insular, reactionary and xenophobic bunch of upper-class imbeciles, a bit of light-hearted nationalist stereotyping based on a situation which has not existed for more than sixty years might just be it.

Elsewhere, along with some very flattering comments about a certain internet grumbler, the mighty Tiso has a collection of superb photomontages by John Heartfield, who in the middle of the Great War changed his name from Helmut Herzfeld as a calculated insult to the brand of patriotism favoured by the likes of Daveykerl der knuddlig Spie├čer und seinen kleinen Freunden. Giovanni also links to Lyndon Hood, like me a sometime follower of Ambrose Bierce, and unlike me a talented cartoonist whose epic Victory Parade for John Key deserves to be known far beyond its victim's natal-shores.

Finally, I have today received this month's royalties from Lulu. Many thanks to those of you who have contributed, but it still isn't exactly retirement money. I need you to dig deeper, folks. Dig deeper, spend, read, review and spread the word, and who knows - perhaps God may reward you. I don't for a moment believe that he will; but of course I could be wrong. It's happened before.


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