Nuclear Fission

Researchers at Cornell University in the state of New York are attempting to undermine family values by claiming that children who grow up in stable single-parent households tend to be healthier than those who grow up in households which God has joined and which no man may put asunder. According to the survey, children whose parents remain together but frequently argue are more likely to do badly at school, use drugs and suffer psychological problems; in later life they are also more likely to have children early and to emulate their own parents in the matter of fouling up relationships. The data for the research came from interviews with about two thousand families, some of whose members clearly spent far too much time together; obviously, such families are simply not hard-working enough.