The Innocent Have Almost Nothing to Fear

All twelve of the terror suspects in the Very Big Plot against the Poodle Archipelago have now been released without charge because there was insufficient evidence to detain them for further questioning, let alone try them. Nine were "given their freedom" or, in Standard English, handed over to the Border Agency for discreet disposal. Ten of the twelve had student visas, which has led to an outcry over the fact that the visa system contains loopholes which allow abuse by vicious foreign fiends who enter the country to be found not guilty of illegal activities. The Government reacted as usual, introducing "tougher measures" which will doubtless tighten the loopholes into a noose for the neck of any education tourist who thinks he can just come over here and be taught things. One of the twelve is British, which may possibly stand in the way of his deportation even though the British government has asked the Pakistani government nicely for reassurances that none of the others will be tortured. Still, it is very considerate of Gordon's little Darling to announce his latest round of cooked figures and half-measures today, thus saving British law and justice from further embarrassment until tomorrow.