Though He Fleece Me, Yet I Will Trust In Him

Lord Mandelbrot the Infinitely Recurring has once again demonstrated the New New Labour brand of open and accountable government by warning that any opposition to his plans to privatise the Post Office will mean the Government will make less money from the deal, and hence will not be able to bail out quite as many bankers as might otherwise have been hoped. Lord Mandelbrot the Infinitely Recurring is embarrassed by the number of strikes at the Royal Mail, which he believes show a lack of trust. Among the strict criteria which Lord Mandelbrot plans to impose on potential profiteers is the ability to "manage stakeholders successfully, including relations with the workforce and unions"; self-evidently, such people will be able to cope with strikes and lack of trust, but "the shrill nature of some of the current debate" about a policy on which New New Labour has already decided is clearly a step too far. Other strict criteria include the ability to "help transform the letters business", or, in Standard English, help to turn a service into a business, with the kind of wondrous results we have already seen in the energy business, the water business, the rail business and so forth; the ability to "modernise Royal Mail's network", or, in Standard English, close any post offices whose continued operation fails to augment the financial security of the appropriate people; and "the financial terms they offer and their ability to finance it" which, it must be admitted, has not been much in evidence as a criterion for the profiteers of our rail, water and energy businesses.