Conditionally Human

The empty suit which inhabits the Ministry of Dawn Raids and Deportations has stated that New New Labour "will not backtrack ... or repeal" the Human Rights Act as long as circumventing it is working so well. On the other hand, the suit does believe that "more could be done to bring out the responsibilities which accompany rights"; in other words, human rights should not be conditional upon anything so simplistic as merely being human, but should rest upon a firm and democratic foundation of doing as one is told. The suit hopes to "entrench progressive values for the long term" with a bill of rights which would lecture people on financial probity, environmental responsibility and obeying the law. In return for fulfilling these obligations, the citizenry may expect "social and economic rights, such as free healthcare", none of which would be enforceable in the courts.

Meanwhile, the Other Out With Wogs, Down With Frogs Party is pledged, as part of its disengagement from the sordid affairs of continental Europe, to repeal the Human Rights Act and replace it with a "British bill of rights"; to which end Daveybloke's cuddly spokesbeing for the prison industry has promised "fewer rights, more wrongs", presumably because New Labour's impressive tariff of new criminal offences is not enough for him.