Leading By Example

A sixth of public and government buildings in England and Wales have received the lowest possible rating for energy efficiency in the latest audit. Among them is the head office of the Lower Miliband's Department of Being Polite to Energy Companies, which produces over thirteen hundred tonnes of carbon dioxide a year in addition to all that hot air; something the Guardian optimistically describes as "embarrassing" for a government that contains not only the Upper and Lower Milibands but Agent Smith, James Purnell and Gordon Brown. The Houses of Parliament and the Bank of England together emitted "the equivalent of more than 14,000 people flying from London to New York". The problem, apparently, results from "ignorance among officials, inefficient equipment and poor energy management". Fancy that. Naturally, since the Government has set itself a target of a thirty per cent emissions cut from its own buildings by 2020, New New Labour has decided not to go ahead with plans for wind, wave and solar energy "after calculations that the investment needed would not result in quick-enough savings on energy bills". Instead, it has set up a "centre of expertise" which will no doubt inform departments such as the Lower Miliband's that they can do wonders towards the saving of the species if they turn down their thermostats by one degree and put a brick in the toilet tank.