Is Colombia Too Soft on Suspects?

A suspected drug smuggler has complained of his treatment at the hands of brave boys doing a difficult job under difficult circumstances.

The sub-Johnsonian Conservative, Michael Fabricant, claimed that he was forced to eat "several mouthfuls" of Coffee-Mate™ at gunpoint while on what he described as a "trekking holiday" in Colombia.

Fabricant had entered the country despite the fact that, on his own admission, he does not "speak more than two or three words in Spanish", possibly gleaned from watching repeats of Fawlty Towers.

Fabricant, who is MP for Lichfield and Burntwood and is not foreign, claimed with considerable newsworthiness that the experience made him feel "as sick as a dog".

Colombia is a major recipient of American aid due to its position at the forefront of the vanguard of the Coalition of the Allied on the war on drugs.