The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

News 2012

The only cheap thing about the London Olympics

Tensions mount as US leader speaks out on human rights

Pre-Olympic tensions are growing after the US Commander in Chief congratulated Britain on its human rights record.

"America stands waist to shoulder with Britain in its detention of terrorist suspects, anti-law-and-order agitators and freedom-haters whether Islamic or secular," he said.

"We speak out to encouragise and energify freedom of assembly within reasonable limits, labour rights which do not impinge on profits and a press that is free with the truth and only the truth," the US leader continued.

"By trusting its people with greater freedom, Britain has developed its full potential and has earned itself a place alongside South Korea and Saudi Arabia in the coalition of free and law-abiding nations."

The Commander in Chief spoke as armed riot police engaged in vigorous rioter-positive demotivation activities.

The Government has designated zones for protest in parks around London, where malcontents can be protected from the wrath of patriotic citizens or foreigners with a less extensive libertarian tradition than the United Kingdom.

Human rights campaigners claim that some people have been deterrented from partaking due to reprisals. However, London mayor Boris Johnson said last week that, because of the previous Labour government's "quasi-Leninist authoritarianism and bendy bus obsession", there might not be enough prison places to grant protective custody to everyone in need.

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