Yesterday in Parliament

The Lower Miliband has reassured intelligence service consumers that leaving secret documents on public transport is a "clear breach" of the rules, so the chap who did it must have done it without permission. He also had no authority to remove the documents from government premises, and by a cruel irony there were not enough CCTV cameras or security guards in the vicinity to prevent him. Fortunately, there is "no evidence to suggest vital national security interests had been damaged" as yet, or that there is any risk to anyone apart from the usual deserving cases.

Elsewhere, the Secretary for Talking About the Environment has observed the happy relationship between Gordon and the DUP and has offered bribes to "communities", or local councils in Oldspeak, for taking on "safe, secure and environmentally acceptable" nuclear waste dumps. The construction of the dumps will be a "multi-billion-pound high-tech project", which will "contribute greatly to the local economy" with "skilled employment for hundreds of people over many decades," thanks to the safety, security and environmental acceptability of the product in question.

Somewhere further down, in another interesting exchange on civil liberties, a minor Tory barked that there are too many dangerous dogs in the country, and that the Daveybloke administration will review the "ineffective" laws on the matter. The idea was rejected by someone or other on the grounds that the police have not made "full use" of existing powers. There's a lesson in there, somewhere.