Terminal Incompetence

Following the outbreak of enhanced operational Britishness at Heathrow's new terminal, involving five hundred cancellations and thirty thousand items of wandering luggage, the chief executive of British Airways has accepted responsibility by kicking out two of his colleagues. As one would expect for such a display of incompetence, the scapegoats "have been placed on gardening leave immediately while terms are thrashed out". Five hundred cancellations; thirty thousand items of stray luggage; and the terms of departure for the directors of operations and customer services are, it seems, negotiable. Should the Britishness fail to be reined in, the chief executive himself "will be in the firing line" for a golden handshake of his own, no doubt to be thrashed out with appropriate input from himself. There'll be a dashed good bit of sock elevation in the BA boardrooms tomorrow.