Shock Information Falsification Accusation Defamation Shock

The Westminster ghetto was in uproar today as the shadow Minister of Hanging and Flogging, David Davies-Davidson, accused the Prime Minister and a grey suit of saying the thing that was not.

Mr Davidson-Davidson said: "This is a very serious issue. It is a breach of a Prime Ministerial undertaking to Parliament and makes the Prime Minister a liar, basically."

The unusually forceful language utilised by the customarily mellifluous and urbane Mr Davids-Davis is believed to have been prompted by the fact that the issue concerned the surveillance of a member of Parliament, rather than the lives of a few thousand foreigners or a few dozen British troops.

Prime Ministerial undertakings to Parliament are understood to have a special status in the Westminster ghetto, which means they far outweigh such comparative trivia as manifesto commitments or erotically enhanced intelligence dossiers.

Politicians on all sides were deeply shocked at the accusation. The idea of members of a Government saying the thing that is not is deeply taboo in the Westminster ghetto, although members of Parliament can accuse one another of many things, including in extreme circumstances "having the full confidence of the Prime Minister".

Politicians, and particularly high-ranking ministers, are considered to have a particular moral and ethical repugnance for saying the thing that is not, because they can be called to account by the electorate at five-yearly intervals, and could even risk losing their job if they represent a marginal constituency.