Colonial Service

As leader of the country which in better days helped to provoke the Mau Mau rebellion, the Glorious Successor evidently feels a certain paternal concern over the way in which the benighted fuzzy-wuzzies are messing about with democracy. He has spoken to the president of Ghana and the head of the Commonwealth observer mission in Kenya, and has welcomed the former's "decision to help with a process of dialogue and reconciliation" which apparently followed from this edifying conversation. Doubtless the decision would never have been made without the Glorious Successor's help; certainly his "unstinting support" is just the sort of verbiage the situation requires, navigating a delicate course between the Scylla of concrete action and the Charybdis of minding our own bloody business for once. As a shoulder-to-shoulder ally of a government which has stolen at least one election, a sharer of values with an Islamic fundamentalist monarchy, and a repatriator of wandering citizens to several countries of similar moral renown, Gordon has prudently refrained from giving vent to any overt judgements about the Kenyan election, but has "urged" both the cheat and the cheated to "exercise restraint"; the exercise of restraint being a handy sort of dodge when violence needs to be stopped, provided the violence in question is not that of the US armed forces, the British armed forces or the existential self-defence forces of the Righteous State.