Intelligence Failures

The intelligence agencies of Britain's greatest ally have said that Iran has halted its programme to develop nuclear weapons, assuming such a programme ever existed. Naturally, Gordon Brown is deeply disappointed. The intelligence agencies claim that Iran halted development on its nuclear deterrent four years ago in "a concession to international pressure"; the said concession was then kept secret by Tehran for four years in order that the international pressure could be maintained. Golly, but Muslims are strange sometimes. Therefore, the British government "believes that the report confirms we were right to be worried about Iran seeking to develop nuclear weapons", much as the recent faux pas over the private details of half the population of the country confirms they were right about the protective efficacy of the National Identity Database. Britain "will continue to discuss the matter with our key international allies", possibly including the Bush administration and Olmert bar Sharon, both of whom share such vital New Labour values as disciplined immunity to inconvenient facts; "and we will be looking for further discussion at the United Nations in the weeks ahead". After all, Iran may well be interfering in the affairs of the sovereign nation of Iraq, quite possibly using explosives. We can't have that, can we?