Retreating in Order to Advance

Thanks to the Glorious Successor's brilliant leadership in the war on climate change, another brilliant victory approaches. The Department of Environmental Finger-wagging Rhetoric and Abjection is "planning an emergency package of at least £300m of cuts covering key environmental services", including "recycling, nature protection, energy saving, carbon emissions and safeguarding the environment". This no doubt constitutes a strategic withdrawal so that the forces of climate change can be outflanked, taken in the rear and utterly annihilated at a later date. This efficientising measure, which is merely the latest of the hundreds of millions of packages of measures introduced by the Glorious Successor in the wisdom of his unique vision of leadership in the achievement of carbon neutrality somewhat later than our time, may well bring the war on climate change within measurable distance of its beginning. The Glorious Successor has achieved this despite the usual spoiling efforts of the United Nations, whose Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change is now warning that "all forms of carbon pollution from flights to inefficient light bulbs must become more expensive if the world is to avert catastrophic effects of warming". This means that the UN is dangerously close to advising governments to interfere the free market, which would constitute intervention in the internal affairs of sovereign nations. If there is one thing the Glorious Successor cannot abide, it is intervention in the internal affairs of sovereign nations. Meanwhile, remember to turn down your thermostat by one degree, and not to leave the tap running unnecessarily.