You Can Take the Lessons of History and Apply Them

The American Secretary of State, Condoleezza "Tanker Girl" Rice, is attempting to learn the lessons of history in time for a conference on the progress of the Final Solution to the Palestinian problem. "She's trying to draw on the historical record and the experiences of others to see what she can glean and how that may be applicable to the current day," said a State Department spokesbeing. "We view the situation as qualitatively different than it has been, the history moves on, people change roles, situations," the spokesbeing continued profoundly. However, "That said, you can take the lessons of history and apply them," thank goodness. Obviously, learning the lessons of history is a Good Thing. If Britain had not learned the lesson of history that appeasing dictators is Bad, we might not have liberated Iraq, and where would we all be then? Dr Rice has left herself all of eight days to assimilate the historical background of the Middle East, which begins with the career of Henry Kissinger and progresses through Carter's Camp David accords and Clinton's 1994 Israel-Jordan peace deal to Madeleine Albright's attempted forgery of an Israeli-Palestinian pact in 2000. The USSR also comes into Middle East history somewhere, although that part of Middle East history is classified in case it falls into hands less safe than those of Dr Rice. History, particularly in a volatile region like the Middle East, is much too important to be left to those who might use it to learn the wrong things.