Huge Intensity

Politicians in the Righteous State have called for "a major military assault on the Gaza Strip", in addition to the one which has been going on for the past forty years, after Islamic Jihad fired a rocket into an army base, critically injuring a member of the chosen race. Eleven others suffered "moderate to severe injuries" and fifty-seven suffered lighter injuries and/or shock. According to the Guardian, the Righteous State has "repeatedly tried large-scale military operations to halt the rockets", and for no other purpose. "A series of military incursions last year left 400 Palestinians dead, at least half of them civilians, but", irony of ironies, "did not halt the rocket attacks". Doubtless in the same brilliant tradition, the Righteous Army "struck at an area used by militants for the rocket attack", presumably in the hope that the militants would be standing still and awaiting their comeuppance like proper soldiers. According to a Gaza health official, the retribution succeeded only in wounding four possible terrorists, including some potential terrorists. The Righteous State's Minister of Gentiles, Tzipi Livni, said that "it doesn't matter which terror group took responsibility. Gaza is totally controlled by Hamas, and it has the ability to stop this and decided not to," Hamas being evidently somewhat stronger than the armed forces of the Righteous State, perhaps because it has never had to deal with an existential threat from a bunch of nuclear-armed fanatics. "I think we have tools to do this, tools that are not only military," Livni continued; options under consideration include "cutting off electricity, water and fuel supplies", thus making Gaza even more like the sovereign, independent, liberated state of Iraq than it was before. The recently-appointed Special Envoy for Peace in the Middle East must be ever so pleased that his huge intensity and work is paying off so soon.