They're Innocent

The Crown Prosecution Service has struck a blow for traditional British justice by announcing that none of the three suspects in the alleged cash for alleged honours alleged scandal will be charged.

The CPS decided that the evidence which Scotland Yard has gathered about the three highly influential and well-connected people has an "unrealistic" prospect of getting a conviction.

A New Labour source said that the Government was "apoplectic". A source close to the prosecution, who apparently preferred to remain anonymous despite Alastair Campbell's long record of magnanimity towards those who disagree with his keepers, implied that the problem may have been ambiguity in the law rather than flaws in the evidence gathered by the best police force in the world.

The relevant laws, which are supposed to prevent corruption in Parliament, were drafted and passed more than eighty years ago by the institution which they were intended to regulate.

Tony Blair is reported to be "angry at the way in which the inquiry undermined his adminstration", particularly as no-one worth bothering about had tried to undermine it over Iraq.

Despite the dangers and hardships involved in the investigation, which cost £800,000 of taxpayers' money, the three highly influential and well-connected people involved were not shot, and the possibility that they might have confessed if imprisoned indefinitely without charge does not appear to have been explored.