Legal Beagle Snuffles Out

In keeping with New Labour's commitment to public relations, the Saviour of the Middle East's former legal adviser has acknowledged that the reputation of the Serious Fraud Squad has been "damaged" by the BAE corruption affair. Lord Goldsmith's own reputation was presumably not even worth discussing. He came over all coy when asked whether the Government would co-operate with the inquiry by the US department of justice, saying that he could not answer the question as he was leaving office; obviously, having worked with Gordon for a mere six years, he cannot possibly take it upon himself to predict what the chap will do. Lord Goldsmith said that the decision to cut off the investigation into the BAE affair had made him "uncomfortable ... not because it was the wrong decision", perish the thought, "but because it could lead", though by no means inevitably, "to a view that this country wasn't as committed to tackling corruption overseas as I believe it is", which would be too jolly bad, particularly given what we know about the country's commitment to tackling corruption at home.

Robert Wardle, the head of the Serious Fraud Office, admitted the damage to his department's reputation, but said that "it was an exceptional case in exceptional circumstances". Upon seeing the evidence of extensive wrongdoing, m'lud, I was instructed by my superiors to close my eyes tight and not pursue the matter any further. It was an exceptional case in exceptional circumstances.

Quite irrelevant of course, but Terry Nation's book Rebecca's World features some highly dangerous creatures called the Swardlewardles. They're dangerous because they can make you laugh yourself to death. Quite irrelevant, of course.