Holy Shit

The Vicar of Downing Street is apparently going to worship his invisible friend in new and interesting ways once the End Time of His Own Choosing is past. He "has been attending Catholic mass, often with his family but also occasionally alone, since long before he became prime minister" and has had his children indoctrinated into the Catholic faith. Apparently he used to "slip into" Westminster cathedral and take communion now and then until Cardinal Hume prevailed on him to stop. He has not actually converted before now because of "sensitivity about the place of Catholicism in British public - and particularly its constitutional - life"; in other words, he has put off entering the True Faith for reasons of political expediency. No doubt the Catholic church will be proud and happy to welcome him into the fold; although it is a little difficult to see what such a famously clear conscience will find to talk about during confession.