Real People Detained

In a shocking development over at the Freedom Quagmire, five real people have been indefinitely detained at an unknown location by the forces of evil. The Minister for Lesser Breeds, Margaret Beckett, said that officials are "offering help and assistance to the next of kin" and that we, the liberators, are "doing all we can to secure their swift and safe release", as one would expect in cases where Tony's greatest and strongest ally is not involved. The foreign minister for the sovereign, independent Iraqi government said that "the interior ministry police, security units and forces are corrupt, are penetrated", doubtless because so many Iraqis are happy that we have deposed Saddam Hussein and given them the chance to vote in democratic elections. The real people detained include four "security guards" employed by GardaWorld, a Canadian organisation which is "changing the definition of what a traditional 'security company' can offer to the market". Services provided by GardaWorld include "uniformed protection, in-store loss prevention, airport preboard screening services, executive and asset protection, patrols and alarm response, consulting" and, my favourite, "labor unrest protection". The other real person detained is a financial expert employed by BearingPoint, the company which has been doing such a bang-up job of rebuilding the sovereign, independent Iraqi financial system.