George and Tony Do the Environment
The world's most anti-social government has graciously consented to write its own ASBOs. The Vicar of Downing Street's very favourite ally proposes that "by the end of next year", when he is due to leave the White House, "America and other nations will set a long-term global goal for reducing greenhouse gases", which can be cheerfully ignored if his successor chooses to follow Bush's precedent on global deals, or tied up in endless wranglings if not.
"To develop this goal, the United States", as the world's acknowledged honest broker, "will convene a series of meetings of nations that produce the most greenhouse gases, including nations with rapidly growing economies like India and China", which can be given appropriate marching orders. "Each country would establish midterm management targets", which I take it translates into Oldspeak as Each country would postpone taking action until half the time had elapsed for the "global goal" to fall due. This would result in an environmentally unconstructive but managerially near-optimal Achilles-and-the-tortoise situation whereby the time before the deadline could be divided into ever-smaller halves with no action being taken in any of them. Once the deadline was actually reached, India and China could be blamed for failing to heed the warnings of the international community.
Anyway, according to Bush's speechwriters, the countries would establish "programs that reflect their own mix of energy sources and future energy needs" - more call centres for India, an end to China's evil space programme, and for the United States continued reliance on God's mercy and enhanced exploration of the possibilitude of putting some big mirrors in orbit around the Earth.
In response, the Vicar of Downing Street has been quivering orgasmically from Africa. "For the first time America's saying it wants to be part of a global deal," drooled the doggie, as though America had ever had any objection to being part of a global deal that involves America doing as it pleases.
"To develop this goal, the United States", as the world's acknowledged honest broker, "will convene a series of meetings of nations that produce the most greenhouse gases, including nations with rapidly growing economies like India and China", which can be given appropriate marching orders. "Each country would establish midterm management targets", which I take it translates into Oldspeak as Each country would postpone taking action until half the time had elapsed for the "global goal" to fall due. This would result in an environmentally unconstructive but managerially near-optimal Achilles-and-the-tortoise situation whereby the time before the deadline could be divided into ever-smaller halves with no action being taken in any of them. Once the deadline was actually reached, India and China could be blamed for failing to heed the warnings of the international community.
Anyway, according to Bush's speechwriters, the countries would establish "programs that reflect their own mix of energy sources and future energy needs" - more call centres for India, an end to China's evil space programme, and for the United States continued reliance on God's mercy and enhanced exploration of the possibilitude of putting some big mirrors in orbit around the Earth.
In response, the Vicar of Downing Street has been quivering orgasmically from Africa. "For the first time America's saying it wants to be part of a global deal," drooled the doggie, as though America had ever had any objection to being part of a global deal that involves America doing as it pleases.
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