An Effective Opposition

You can't please all of the Conservative party all of the time, but a bit of a war now and then is the next best thing. Daveybloke, having caused a bit of a stir with whatever he meant to say about grammar schools, is seeking to regain the faith of his followers by leading from the front. Accordingly, the question must be asked: given the circumstances, what would Tony do?

Fortunately, the Guardian has provided rather a broad hint by printing the results of a dictation exercise given to sometime World Briefer Simon Tisdall by some obliging US officials. Given that US officials are saying things, the answer to the question What would Tony do? becomes almost laughably easy: Tony, of course, would agree with them. Hence, Daveybloke has become deeply concerned about the nuclear threat from Iran: "Make no mistake, the threat is growing. The scale and urgency of our response needs to match it". With the ruthless, implacable statesmanship of the noncombatant, Daveybloke calls for somebody to do something about it.

Daveybloke, like the Americans, is in favour of negotiations as long as Iran does as it is told: "Mr Cameron said talks between Tehran and the US should be encouraged if they complied with the demands of the international community" of the United States, Britain and Israel. "Our aim should be clear: to persuade Iran to suspend its nuclear programme ... and return to negotiations", Iran's nuclear programme being merely the point at issue and hence not negotiable.

Daveybloke criticised Jack Straw, the former Secretary of State for Lesser Breeds, for ruling out military action against Iran. Daveybloke does not think that is sensible in international affairs. Daveybloke would not take that path. "It would be a calamity if they get a nuclear weapon, but military action would be calamitous". This at least should be a comfort to the Conservatives; Daveybloke is not one to rule out an option simply because it would be calamitous.