Hearts, Minds, Balls

The Sectarian of State for Rooting Out Enemies of the People, Ruth Kelly, has announced a five-million-pound initiative to battle for hearts and minds in the battle to win the battle against warlike Muslim extremists. Local councils will bid for the money, she said; in other words, it appears, local councils are going to have to compete for the privilege of "stopping the grooming of young Islamists" and preventing a repeat of the July 2005 bombings. It is not yet clear whether, as with other public health measures, they will have to do so at a profit. "We need a new, strengthened partnership and unity of purpose to isolate those who seek to divide us," Ruth Kelly said; or, in Standard English, Do as you're told. "In the past, government has relied too much on engagement with traditional leadership organisations," Ruth Kelly said; or, in Standard English, You have the wrong leaders; let us give you new and better ones. "The battle for hearts and minds is more important than ever, as is the need for closer working together," Ruth Kelly said; or, in Standard English, Do as you're told, just in case it wasn't clear the first time.

The Vicar of Downing Street, too, has been speaking of winning hearts and minds. "Hearts and minds" is an interesting phrase in itself. Its most famous use, if not its first, was by American officials during the glorious crusade to liberate South-east Asia from its peoples. Then as now, there were some who apparently believed that the purpose of the war was to acquaint the natives with the wonders of civilisation, and who felt that the American case might come across better if the napalm was dropped on indigenous persons rather than on gooks. Indigenous fired the little yellow belly with pro-US patriotism, as opposed to anti-civilised nationalism; persons engaged the subtle Oriental intellect with the concept of individuality, from which in due course there would be progress to Enlightenment values, the Rights of Man, and eventual full democracy under the tutelage of that sublime statesman, Ngo Dinh Diem. There was also the slogan attributed to Nixon's henchman Charles Colson: "When you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow". Hearts and minds, in short, are prizes to be won from enemies.

Possibly this helps explain his reverence's attitude. "Winning hearts and minds is not just about reaching out to people," he said. "It is also sometimes about standing up to them and saying, 'Your value system is a value system that is wrong'." One can imagine the hearts and minds swooning into Tony's arms at this approach. Nevertheless, the generational crusade against extremism must be prepared to assert itself at all costs: "We won't win this hearts and minds issue unless we are prepared to be proud of the values that we have and realise they are basic human values, they are not western values." Those who do not share Tony's values, then, are something other than basically human; how fortunate that he is not an extremist himself.