Won't Somebody Think of the School Leavers?

The Confabulation of Business Interests has warned that many teenagers are not equipped for working life, look scruffy and grunt. Obviously, this is not the sort of behaviour the CBI expects of teenagers, who by the time they leave school should have "communication, personal presentation, creative thinking, teamwork and reliability" cauterised into each of their cerebral lobes. Like so much else, this regrettable situation is the fault of the education system, which sometimes has other things on its collective mind than turning out highly disciplined squads of teenage salespersons or fostering the kind of "creativity" that will keep a focus group on message.

Nevertheless, the schools minister has "halted moves to embed 'personal, learning and thinking skills' within all GCSEs and A-levels", whatever that may mean. How, for example, does one embed "personal presentation" in a history lesson? "Now, children, this is Wat Tyler, who led a revolt of peasants against working conditions that were perfectly reasonable given the greater economic situation at the time. The probability is very high that he did not dress well, and we know that he had a habit of asking awkward questions about the distribution of wealth when Adam delved and Eve span. This sort of behaviour is not to be confused with communication, which will be covered when you learn how to write a proper sales report in your English lesson; and it certainly would not count as creative thinking, which you will hear more about when you learn Biology and Intelligent Design. No, children, Wat Tyler's behaviour is an example of unpreparedness for working life, the scourge and downfall of all real people..."

It is, of course, unlikely that such considerations (i.e. educational ones) had anything to do with the schools minister's decision not to carry out such embedding. Most likely the Cabinet simply concluded that God and a few ASBOs would sort things out in a year or two; or perhaps Tony's legacy will include a Compulsory Creativity Bill, just so the kids remember him as well.