The Satanic Supplement

Church,n. A worldly organisation for the care and upkeep of the divinely inspired. A building in which those who believe that, wherever three gather in His name, the Saviour is present, attempt by weight of numbers to sway the Saviour to their own advantage.

Defeat,n. The only war crime.

Earn,v.t. To gain a salary in exchange for performing a useful function, after the fashion of politicians, corporate executives, etc. Nurses, teachers and other less efficient breeds also gain salaries, which are not to be confused with earnings and are known instead as costs.

Faith,n. Collective delusion, sanctioned by clerics and sanctified by military might and mental inertia.

Genocide,n. The deliberate and occasionally mistaken act of eliminating an entire people. The whisk whose stirring motions produced, from pagan eggs broken upon the cutting edge of Manifest Destiny, that great Christian omelette which is the United States.

Mole,n. A small dark blemish in either the skin or the garden lawn.
The death of the Duchess of Dee
Was something appalling to see:
She was gobbled up whole
By a thing like a mole
Which hatched from a wart on her knee.
Rev. Wibley Beamish

Reputation,n. A mask composed of applied and solidified rumour, which for the most flattering results is best applied oneself.

Schismatic,n. A heretic with sufficient followers to escape eternal damnation and set up his own stall from which to hawk yet another one-and-only Truth. Examples include the Christian schismatic Luther, the Jewish schismatic Paul, and the Chaldean schismatic Abraham.

Trimp,n. A triumvirate of tramps.
Thrice ugh: a trimp!
Boveller Snitch