The Satanic Supplement

Adultery,n. The means whereby love and marriage go together like a horse and pedestrian.

Critic,n. One who is paid to crack open a work of art, stamp on the kernel and spit fragments of shell in the reader's face.

Frigid,adj. Stiff and chilly in manner, temper or person.
An incompetent climbing Mount Dredge
Was stranded by night on a ledge.
When found, he was frigid
And frozen so rigid,
They rode him downhill like a sledge.
Rev. Wibley Beamish

Grey,adj. A compromise between black and white. In politics, a compromise between two shades of grey is known as a "courageous and unprecedented innovation".

Human Interest,n.(Journalese) The distillation of newsworthiness. An item unencumbered by national or international significance, which is deemed worth reporting in the news solely on the grounds of its being reported in the news.

Naked,adj. Engaged in testing a lover's affection by observing the extent to which they can restrain their mirth.

Quadrifulgent,adj. Exuding from four places simultaneously.
Enemy blades had deprived him of all major extremities save his head; his life's blood spurted with roseate quadrifulgency.
Mimsy Piggler

Specious,adj. An argument which lacks the courtesy to prostrate itself sufficiently for the squeezing of its awkward substance through the lofty portal of your intellect.

Wolf,n. Wild canine which, for having thus far refused to be bred by humanity into chihuahuas, poodles and Pekes, has been persecuted very nearly to the point of the extinction merited by such a wholly misconceived career move.

Zimbabwean,n. A Rhodesian displaying the blackest possible ingratitude towards the man by whom his nation had the honour to be enslaved.