Old Father Hubbard

The Bavarian Minister of the Interior, Gunther Beckstein, has made some disparaging comments about the sci-fi religious cult of Scientology, whose adherents are setting up "tutoring programmes" across Germany. A spokeswoman denies that the programmes are being used to recruit children and their families, tutoring as a means to conversion being "against Scientology doctrine"; in which case, no doubt, if a pupil should ask the teacher what Scientology might be, the teacher would stoically refuse to answer on the grounds of a conflict of interest.

Although denied the tax-exempt status for which the Americans invented God, Scientology is legally recognised as a religion in Germany; but Gunther Beckstein denies that it is one: "Scientology is not a religion. It is a business". The distinction is not always an easy one to make, of course, particularly in a Protestant country; but Beckstein notes that the aim of Scientology is "to gain power over individuals and try to brainwash them", which appears to settle the question. According to the Observer, Scientology also has a reputation for being "secretive, wealthy and extremely aggressive in repelling critics", quite unlike, say, Vatican Incorporated.