The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Full Spectrum Dominance

In the absence, so far, of a dirty-bomb attack on New York or a cleansing spray of cruise missiles over Iran, the leader of the free world has fallen back on the Kennedy doctrine ("Look at all that lovely black vacuum out thar! Let's go grab us a moon!") to rally the troops for November.

In what the Guardian swooningly refers to as "a bold claim to the final frontier" and a "vigorous" assertion of America's "rights" and a "muscular overhaul of policy", Bush informed the universe at large that space is important to US national interests and called for a cosmic make-over in the interest of American spying and war-making; or, in correct English, "the development of space capabilities to support US intelligence and defence initiatives". Such initiatives will in no way imply the development of weapons, according to a White House spokesbeing. Good heavens, no. Similarly, Frederick Jones of the National Security Council informed the Associated Press that "protection of space assets does not imply some sort of forceful action"; particularly as the US faces "novel threats" since the nation's previous policy declaration on colonising the universe. After all, what leader of the free world, in the face of novel threats, would even consider contemplating forceful action just to keep the cosmos Republican?

Space activities, you see, such as the preservation of America's "rights, capabilities and freedom of action", have "improved life in the US and around the world". Wherever the US is able to "dissuade or deter others from either impeding those rights or developing capabilities intended to do so", there security will be enhanced; wherever the US military has the capacity to "respond to interference and deny, if necessary, adversaries the use of space capabilities hostile to US national interests", there economic growth will flourish. America's mastery of space (the achievements of the USSR and others being scientific rather than God-given, and hence purely theoretical) has also been a cultural force, "revolutionising the way people view their world and the cosmos". Indeed, it seems more than likely that many of those who believe in the literal existence of hell now also believe in flying saucers. Since, in the words of Frederick Jones, "we depend on space capabilities for things like ATMs, personal navigation, package tracking, radio services, and cell phone use", the idea of weapons in space seems like something out of Star Wars.

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