The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

News 2020

PM refutes eugenics claim over final solution

The Prime Minister has issued a "refutatory denial of categorical rebuttality" in response to claims that the Government's proposed measures to reduce antisocial behaviour are undemocratic.

Government proposals for a final solution to the antisociality problem include programmes of "active disencouragement" for breeding teenagers whose National Interpersonal Compatibility Knowledge Database profiles indicate a likelihood of dysfunctional offspring.

Families showing several or more designated "risk factors", including low income, alcohol consumption, single-parentitude, excessive Muslimity or other symptoms could face "protective dissolution", with adults being placed on compulsory usefulness schemes and children boarded out to whatever faith schools the arresting officer decides are most economically viable.

The Prime Minister's rebuttal today refuted claims by protesters against targeted human rights that the new measures amounted to a "eugenics programme".

"I utterly and categorically refute the irresponsible claim that the new measures allegedly amount to a so-called 'eugenics programme'," the Prime Minister said.

The leader of the opposition, Boris Johnson, criticised the Government for "excessive intrusion into the lives of its subjects" and said that the police, voluntary services, rational and responsible religions, and the use of longer prison sentences would "entirely suffice for building a cleaner and purer Albion".

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