Upward Creep

As you luxuriate in the quiet comfort of Britain's public transport system while light-heartedly awaiting the next announcement of inestimable promptitude; as you confidently await your National Health Service hip replacement, secure in the knowledge that the appropriate tranche of middle management is obliged to issue notification of any changes within an acceptable period of time; as your child slips happily into the tolerant, non-discriminatory, non-evangelical faith school dearest to your heart; in short, as you go about your humble affairs in Tony's Choice Emporium, take a moment to reflect upon the contribution of one vital but frequently misunderstood community, the extent of whose just reward was revealed yesterday. I refer, of course, to Britain's investment bankers and financiers, whose bonuses have increased by a quarter over the past two years, making Thames Water's price increase of twenty-four per cent over five years look almost criminally unambitious. Bonus payments to our brave boys in the City totalled nineteen thousand million pounds this year, which is equal to Britain's entire annual transport budget. Still, according to the director of investment affairs at the Association of British Insurers, City bonuses "have a pretty close link to performance, almost certainly closer than that achieved in the publicly listed sector where, over a long period, we have seen evidence of upward creep." Additionally, of course, investment bankers and financiers would never dream of opposing legislation designed to put them in their place; and certainly they would never dream of going on strike. If ever they became so irresponsible, why, I don't know what we'd do.