Thwarting the Monotheodictatocaliphatisation

In yet another freedom-enhancing phase of the War against the Abstract Noun, the Government is expected to announce that "imams should be officially accredited and trained to prevent 'extremist preachers' from radicalising young people at mosques". Not being extremist itself, the Government sees the fight against the noun as a perpetual crusade, according to Phil Woolas, one of Ruth Kelly's lambs of integrative cohesion at the Department of Communities. "This is a generational thing," Woolas told a meeting of community leaders. "We are determined to protect civil liberties", at least for the deserving. "But we can't solve it on our own. The terrorists will use whatever argument they have got to pull the wool over susceptible people's eyes, but their goal, as Bill Clinton said, is to destroy the idea of a pluralist society". Just imagine - if the terrorists won, we would no longer have the privilege of choosing between Tony Blair and David Cameron. Instead of market forces and the wishes of the Bush administration, we would be subject to arbitrary, irrational rule by bloodstained religious maniacs who denounce anyone who disagrees with them as facile, foolish and dangerous. "Get across the understanding that what these people are about is destroying the idea of society and creating a mono-theocratic dictatorship," Woolas instructed the community leaders. So that's what those people are about. "The government is very clear that the vast majority of Muslims want to defeat this terrorism carried out in the name of religion," Woolas reassured the community leaders. "Don't believe that the government doesn't understand your fear," Woolas urged the community leaders. "Of course we do." Of course they do, having themselves to thank for fomenting the said fear in such impressive quantities. "Don't fall into the trap, don't allow yourself to be used by the terrorists," Woolas exhorted the community leaders, who presumably were not, as yet, ensconced among the vast majority of Muslims with sufficient Government accreditation.