The Satanic Supplement

Amoeba,n. Mathematical anomaly which divides in order to multiply. Cf. humanity, which multiplies endlessly and grows ever more divided. Despite its not having been endowed with dominion over the rest of creation and the power of naming all other animals, it is just possible that the amoeba will survive.

Breast,n. A lump of meat with which a woman may feed a pup or entice a cur, according to her preference.

Demotion,n. Sincere recognition of genuine merit.

Egalitarianism,n. A belief in the necessity of curing those who harbour delusions of superiority to oneself.

Journey,n. A period of inconvenience between a disaster and a disappointment.

Murgid,adj. Morbid and turgid.
She considered D H Lawrence a dirty old man, and Poe a murgid monomaniac.
Jolliper Gniddle

Parable,n. A fable illustrating some improving moral point, as in many television dramas. The most famous teller of parables is perhaps the founder of Christianity, who used them to inform his disciples that unless they did as they were told, and behaved like sheep or infants, his father would banish them into outer darkness, the place of wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Reparation,n. That which is demanded from the loser at the end of a war, in order to stir up the lasting resentment necessary to precipitate a new quarrel and prevent the generals going hungry.

Tomato,n. A shiny red agglomeration of vegetable matter which fattens under greenhouse conditions. Distinct from the Londoner in that it possesses both taste and superior powers of mobility.

Walkman™,n. A device which confers upon those within a dozen yards of the user the privilege of enjoying the beat of the user's favourite popular music. Unfortunately, the Walkman™ is equipped with headphones rather than speakers, thus obliging users to sing along, or else keep the volume sufficiently high to induce permanent psychosis in many rodents, before the subtler pleasure of the lyrics can be equally widely disseminated.