News 2020
Wind of change shines on floating moneyspinner
The Prime Minister today announced a new package of packages to help people on low incomes afford adequate disaster insurance.
From next year, people carrying the cheapest three types of identity card will be entitled to purchase shares in future rescue operations at a special reduced rate.
The profits on these shares will be fed into a special fund, administered by firms contracted by the Government, which will help shareholders pay for food, water, shelter and administrative costs should they become involved in a disaster without proper access to a helicopter.
The Prime Minister made the announcement as he personally consecrated Britain's first aquatic hypercasino, which has been completed after three years' work by private contractors Hallibechtel Happiness Ltd and pronounced almost within the requisite 23% safety margin.
The hypercasino, called George's after Britain's unofficial patron saint, the late President George W Bush, utilises state-of-the-art flotation technology to remain permanently buoyantified on the surface of Lake Beyoncé.
The lake was unexpectedly created when a hurricane and tidal wave produced an unscheduled urban submersion four years ago.
The incident rendered more than 2,000 people without a second home and caused a massive increase in insurance claims. Anti-globalisation campaigners sometimes refer to the incident as an "environmental disaster", despite Government denials that the environment was involved.
More than 3,000 suspected migrant workers, asylum seekers and public transport overcrowders were killed in the incident or detrimentised by assertive response contractors. A further 17,000 are suspected of using the chaos as a means of evading deportation and/or compulsory usefulness opportunification.
The Prime Minister today announced a new package of packages to help people on low incomes afford adequate disaster insurance.
From next year, people carrying the cheapest three types of identity card will be entitled to purchase shares in future rescue operations at a special reduced rate.
The profits on these shares will be fed into a special fund, administered by firms contracted by the Government, which will help shareholders pay for food, water, shelter and administrative costs should they become involved in a disaster without proper access to a helicopter.
The Prime Minister made the announcement as he personally consecrated Britain's first aquatic hypercasino, which has been completed after three years' work by private contractors Hallibechtel Happiness Ltd and pronounced almost within the requisite 23% safety margin.
The hypercasino, called George's after Britain's unofficial patron saint, the late President George W Bush, utilises state-of-the-art flotation technology to remain permanently buoyantified on the surface of Lake Beyoncé.
The lake was unexpectedly created when a hurricane and tidal wave produced an unscheduled urban submersion four years ago.
The incident rendered more than 2,000 people without a second home and caused a massive increase in insurance claims. Anti-globalisation campaigners sometimes refer to the incident as an "environmental disaster", despite Government denials that the environment was involved.
More than 3,000 suspected migrant workers, asylum seekers and public transport overcrowders were killed in the incident or detrimentised by assertive response contractors. A further 17,000 are suspected of using the chaos as a means of evading deportation and/or compulsory usefulness opportunification.
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