Keeping the Faith

The Vicar of Downing Street is resisting calls from his congregation to return from his holiday in the Caribbean and take personal charge of the crisis which has erupted from the recent non-occurrence of a terrorist attack. Tony believes that the Home Secretary, John Reid, and Lord High Everything Else Prescott "have handled the crisis effectively", or at least not so dangerously well as to make Tony himself look unnecessary. "If he's going to come back there has to be something only he can do," a Downing Street spokesbeing said. Tony has been telephoning Prescott, and has also been making various calls in favour of doing nothing to hinder Israel in its manufacture of images for the recruitment of suicide bombers; but aside from these vital and statesmanlike functions it appears there is no particular reason for Tony to break off his communion with the Divinity. A few malcontents are asking for a recall of Parliament so that Tony can ignore it properly; but now that the Glorious Twelfth is upon us Tony's coalition partners can hardly be expected to support a resumption of parliamentary grousing. Besides, the divine grace cannot be summoned, commanded or conjured. The wind bloweth where it listeth.