The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Friday, August 04, 2006

An Almost Unacceptable Tragedy

Israel has bombed the main coastal road north of Beirut, causing a "major setback" to aid efforts, in the words of UNHCR's senior information officer. Vehicles may possibly be allowed to take secondary roads, but even if these are not also destroyed, shipments will be slowed. The white painted line down the middle of the road was doubtless an arrow pointed at Israel's heart, utilised by Hizbollah in aiming their devastating attacks on the Righteous State.

Meanwhile, the Vicar of Downing Street has postponed his holiday in order to battle for peace among the spinally-endowed in the Labour party. He described the Righteous State's bombing campaign as "unacceptable", but has decided to accept it for the time being: "I have got to try and get a solution to this, and the solution will not come by condemning one side, it will not come simply by statements that we make, it will only come by a plan that allows a ceasefire on both sides and then a plan to deal with the underlying cause, which is the inability of the government of Lebanon to take control of the whole of Lebanon."

The impotence of the Lebanese government has no underlying causes, of course. In matters concerning our little brown brothers of Araby, all the history Tony can remember comprises four genuine dates: March 1988 when the evil Saddam used chemical weapons on Halabja, August 1990 when the evil Saddam invaded plucky little Kuwait, 11 September 2001 when America was attacked by terrorists, and March 2003 when Britain and its allies liberated Iraq. Nevertheless, "much of the Arab and Muslim world do not think we approach [the Palestinian issue] in an even-handed way". In Tony's view, the misconception of much of the Arab and Muslim world concerning Tony's even-handedness is "of far greater significance than even the differing views of the tragedy in the Lebanon". It really is too bad of them, since Tony has always been a fervent supporter of restraint on both sides, and would probably be more than happy to permit American arms sales to the Palestinians if that should chance to be America's wish.

Tony suggested that "it might be necessary to talk to elements of the democratically-elected Hamas government in Palestine, even though Hamas has not renounced violence or accepted Israel's existence". We must hope that Hamas will condescend to send its elements to the negotiations, even though Israel has not renounced violence or accepted the existence of Palestinians. Tony hopes a UN resolution can be passed by early next week, so presumably he can bring himself to accept the continuation of the unacceptable bombing campaign till then. The resolution, he said, would require Israel only to suspend "offensive operations". Those aspects of the bombing which are purely defensive - all of them, according to Israel - will no doubt be permitted to continue.

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