Shell Beach

The Righteous State has reduced the demographic threat to its existence by another seven. The Beit Lahia beach in northern Gaza was hit by some of the six thousand or so artillery shells which the Righteous Military have been firing into the area over the past two months. These thousands of artillery shells are a "response to armed Palestinian groups such as Islamic Jihad firing hundreds of homemade rockets into Israel", and have so far bagged fifteen potential suicide bombers, including five potential instruments of liberal-antisemitic emotional blackmail. The artillery shells which hit the Beit Lahia beach have been officially regretted by the Righteous Army, which "definitely would not target a beach full of people," according to an army spokesman. The Righteous Army has called a halt to the shelling, which will doubtless be resumed in reprisal for whatever unprovoked attacks on Israel the beasts on two legs will soon attempt vainly to justify by invoking this little mistake.