News 2020
Muslims may lack biodegradability, survey finds
Radical Islam may constitute a greater danger to the environment than previously thought, according to a new survey.
The survey, which was carried out in the Baghdad Free State by personnel from Halliburton Excelsior Yellowcake-Bechtel Uranium Depletionisation, shows that certain types of Muslim are less biodegradable than had been anticipated.
"We're finding a lot of hajis who underwent detrimentalisation fifteen or twenty years ago that are still radioactive today," said survey team motivation enhancement operative Elmer Stoolglow.
The radioactivity is worst in areas which were most heavily democratised during the liberation of the former Iraq earlier this century, the survey found.
Although no final conclusion has been reached, one explanation could be illegal nuclear testing by the mullah regime in Persian-occupied Iran. "We're looking at extensive testing of advanced nuclear weapons underneath a virtually sovereign country in the process of giving assisted birth to a vulnerable child of democracy," Mr Stoolglow said.
"If they were doing that kind of stuff fifteen years ago and targeting it on the freedomised, who's to say what kind of hitting power they have now? Based on these findings, I'd say we have to kick some hijab fast before some real people get hurt."
A spokesperson for the US State Department said that the survey's findings were being "aggressively considerated", while the British Foreign Secretary praised the White House for its commitment to the environment and called on all religions to coexist in non-carcinogenic sustainability.
Radical Islam may constitute a greater danger to the environment than previously thought, according to a new survey.
The survey, which was carried out in the Baghdad Free State by personnel from Halliburton Excelsior Yellowcake-Bechtel Uranium Depletionisation, shows that certain types of Muslim are less biodegradable than had been anticipated.
"We're finding a lot of hajis who underwent detrimentalisation fifteen or twenty years ago that are still radioactive today," said survey team motivation enhancement operative Elmer Stoolglow.
The radioactivity is worst in areas which were most heavily democratised during the liberation of the former Iraq earlier this century, the survey found.
Although no final conclusion has been reached, one explanation could be illegal nuclear testing by the mullah regime in Persian-occupied Iran. "We're looking at extensive testing of advanced nuclear weapons underneath a virtually sovereign country in the process of giving assisted birth to a vulnerable child of democracy," Mr Stoolglow said.
"If they were doing that kind of stuff fifteen years ago and targeting it on the freedomised, who's to say what kind of hitting power they have now? Based on these findings, I'd say we have to kick some hijab fast before some real people get hurt."
A spokesperson for the US State Department said that the survey's findings were being "aggressively considerated", while the British Foreign Secretary praised the White House for its commitment to the environment and called on all religions to coexist in non-carcinogenic sustainability.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home