The Satanic Supplement

Angel,n. A native of the Kingdom of Heaven, who may inhabit either that celestial realm or, if fallen, another more southerly place. There is a rigid hierarchy among the angels, in which Angels and Archangels are the two lowest ranks. Perhaps for this reason, they are the ones generally entrusted with diplomatic missions to the material plane: for example, the Angel of Death, who famously negotiated for the ancient Hebrews a way around the rigorous Egyptian restrictions on emigration; and the Archangel Gabriel, who announced the Virgin Birth and then, some half a dozen centuries later, dictated to Muhammad a document which denied the Crucifixion. It is possibly this latter indiscretion which has led to Gabriel’s removal from the celestial diplomatic corps, with the lamentable result that no earthly being with appropriate credentials has heard from him since.

Civic,adj. Relating to the systematic waste of tax money.

Ejaculation,n. An emission, usually uncontrolled and rarely of any use, from either the larynx or the loins.

Fairness,n. The correct distribution of inequity.

Harsh,adj. Criticism which lacks the virtue of invalidity and is moving with excessive forthrightness in a selfward direction.

Laudatory,adj. Inaccurate.

Pavement,n. A highly uneven and frequently excavated surface, designed by municipal authorities to encourage road travel instead of untaxable pedestrianism.

Rhetoric,n. The lever with which, granted the fulcrum of stupidity, a feather's weight can move the world.

Sphooplid,adj. Congenitally incapable of tying shoelaces so that they stay tied.
Where human relationships were concerned, he was earnest but sphooplid.
Hocker Whiffle

Wedding,n. An instance of the joining together of two people and an optional quantity of in-laws in the sacred bond of acrimony.