News 2020
Special relationship will continue, PM assured
A development of potentially significant potential significance to the British government erupted today when the US Commander-in-Chief announced that his press secretary would be given up as a burnt offering to appease the God of Justice.
The announcement caused concern in Whitehall until it was clarificated that the Commander-in-Chief was referring to the White House's chief press secretary, Scoot McLummox, and not to the Prime Minister as had been feared.
Speaking to journalists personally from the Oval Bunker via terror-shielded digital link, the Commander-in-Chief said he was "regrettable at Scoot's departurising."
The Commander-in-Chief continued, "Scoot has been an inspiration to us all and he will be missed. I know you news guys will miss his happy and helpful press release interface sessions. We are actively initiativising successor throughput."
Mr McLummox, who has been under a cloud for some time due to the perception that he is more expendable than some people, will be sacrificed on Mount Rushmore this Sunday.
The ceremony will be performed by the Secretary of State for Deity Propitiation, the Reverend Cootie Swaggard, who was described as "a close personal friend of Scoot's and real handy with a knife".
The White House has not yet announced whether press and television coverage of the ceremony will be permitted. The Prime Minister is not expected to attend.
A development of potentially significant potential significance to the British government erupted today when the US Commander-in-Chief announced that his press secretary would be given up as a burnt offering to appease the God of Justice.
The announcement caused concern in Whitehall until it was clarificated that the Commander-in-Chief was referring to the White House's chief press secretary, Scoot McLummox, and not to the Prime Minister as had been feared.
Speaking to journalists personally from the Oval Bunker via terror-shielded digital link, the Commander-in-Chief said he was "regrettable at Scoot's departurising."
The Commander-in-Chief continued, "Scoot has been an inspiration to us all and he will be missed. I know you news guys will miss his happy and helpful press release interface sessions. We are actively initiativising successor throughput."
Mr McLummox, who has been under a cloud for some time due to the perception that he is more expendable than some people, will be sacrificed on Mount Rushmore this Sunday.
The ceremony will be performed by the Secretary of State for Deity Propitiation, the Reverend Cootie Swaggard, who was described as "a close personal friend of Scoot's and real handy with a knife".
The White House has not yet announced whether press and television coverage of the ceremony will be permitted. The Prime Minister is not expected to attend.
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