Tony on Saving Civilisation Together

The Vicar of Downing Street has delivered the second of his three sermons on foreigners, Islam and his proposed Grand Alliance to save civilisation. This instalment, vouchsafed in Australia, includes some touching childhood reminiscences which show that the Reverend's speechwriters are familiar with his biography, and a disquisition on human rights which revealingly points up the Reverend's concern at Australia's treatment of its aborigines.

Contrary to previous reports, the third instalment will be delivered in Indonesia, not in the United States. Having admitted that the Americans are sometimes "difficult friends to have", perhaps the Reverend is having trouble getting a visa; or perhaps it's just that George is having his golf clubs recalibrated that day and can't spare the time.

A slightly rendered version of the Reverend's sermon is presented herewith. The full text is available here, although you can probably, if you really must, fill in the gaps for yourself.

Mr Speaker, I am grateful ... this superb chamber ... good to see my old friend ... at whose feet I used to sit ... leading the Labor party ... a privilege to be in the company of prime minister John Howard ... steadfast leadership ... firmness as an ally and friend ... given me cause to be deeply grateful. Australia may not be in my blood; but it surely is in my spirit ... my earliest memories ... age of two till five, I lived ... I remember returning from the hospital ... my sister Sarah had just been born ... back of the old Austin we drove ... errands for our neighbour ... taking showers under the garden hose ... the heat on the lawn ... visiting friends up country ... chased by magpies as I ran across the open ground near our home ... later skirmishes with the media ... reintroduced to religion ... introduced to politics ... dear friends to this day ... back many times ... love the people; love the place; always have and always will ... a very special place to be ... shared history ... shared sporting passion ... English victory in the Ashes ... carnival of celebration ... Commonwealth Games ... showed the world ... exuberance and sheer style... modern Australia ... more than the rest of us ... I wrote a speech once ... Britain ... Australia ... I like to think ... share a lot more ... history and endeavour on the playing fields ... outlook to life ... confident, outward bound, and "up for it" type of nations ... a world in the course of choosing ... daily tumult ... stories of strife and sensation ... blast their way into our consciousness ... struggle of a more profound kind ... globalisation is a fact ... values that govern it are a choice ... the values we believe in ... democracy and the rule of law ... justice ... simple conviction ... a fair go ... human beings ... better themselves ... world around them ... values our two countries live by... we believe ... we believe ... more integrated ... re-shapes our lives ... an opportunity as much as a risk ... open societies ... enriched by diversity ... welcome dynamism ... tolerant of difference ... defining division ... open or closed ... the menace of it not the possibility ... age of the interconnected ... struggle in our world today ... about values and about modernity ... battle of values ... values ... values ... common ownership of humanity ... universal values ... right of the global citizen ... challenge ... people who hate us ... question our motives, our good faith, our even-handedness ... values ... support them selectively ... justice and fairness ... security and prosperity ... truth ... prosperity ... security ... security ... justice ... inter-connected world ... open society ... markets ... justice ... poorest of the world ... peace to the Middle East ... Israel and Palestine ... freedom ... millions in Africa ... basics of life ... our way of life ... there is no alternative ... fight for it ... values ... our own country ... the world over ... global alliance ... values ... Islamist extremism ... victims ... victims ... September 11 ... terrorism ... victims ... recent history ... Russia ... India ... Algeria, Pakistan, Libya, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Indonesia, Kenya ... cadres of terrorists ... sense of alienation ... Arab and Muslim world ... defeat this terror ... face up to the fact ... roots are deep, ... global ideology at war with us and our way of life ... democracy ... Islam ... danger ... as we speak ... Iraq and Afghanistan ... our troops ... alongside each other ... we are all deeply proud ... commitment, dedication and bravery of our armed forces ... titanic struggle ... free ... legacy of oppression, stagnation and servitude ... a choice to vote ... obstacles we can scarcely imagine ... symbol of hope ... belief ... values ... forces of reaction ... most evil of means ... terrorism ... the slaughter ... innocent ... innocent ... hope ... full UN support ... UN authority ... full support ... democratically elected governments ... reactionary element ... lined up to fight us ... if they lose ... Muslim world ... strikes at the heart ... their ideology ... fighting hard ... must not hesitate ... battle utterly decisive ... values ... believe ... triumph or fail ... democracy ... struggle is our struggle ... if the going is tough we tough it out ... not a time to walk away ... courage to see it through ... battle is most fierce ... wherever people live in fear ... solidarity with them ... Sudan, Zimbabwe, Burma, North Korea ... process of democratic development ... extend a helping hand ... engagement not isolation ... strong alliance ... America ... central ... I do not always agree with the US ... difficult friends to have ... anti-American feeling ... madness ... against the long-term interests ... world we believe in ... America today ... pull up the drawbridge ... need ... want ... reality ... problems that press in on us ... our task is to ensure ... security ... security ... values ... values ... justice ... fairness ... freedom from fear ... security ... alliance ... America ... Israeli election ... redouble our efforts ... only solution ... secure state of Israel ... viable, independent Palestinian state ... mobilise the resources ... turn the commitments ... action to combat ... ravages of conflict ... Africa ... literally millions ... climate change ... energy supply ... strongly support Kyoto ... look to the future ... dialogue ... UN process ... bring it all together ... resolution ... clear, disciplined framework for action ... measurable outcomes ... our planet ... world trade round ... open or closed ... protectionist sentiment ... we have the opportunity ... commitment on world poverty ... very idea of multilateral action ... long-term national interest ... wider interests of the world ... born of another age ... America ... Japan ... development package ... market access ... aid for trade ... prosperity ... open markets ... justice ... stand on their own two feet ... markets ... self-interest ... fight for our values ... waves of migration ... migration is fair ... different ethnic groups ... pride in our diversity ... tolerance ... democratic freedoms ... did not turn on Muslims ... united against terrorists ... signal of belief ... action on all fronts ... insidious and persuasive voices ... comfort zone ... watch the field of play ... get stuck in ... 1939 ... Britain ... war on the Nazi tyranny ... war ... no ifs, no buts ... solidly with the world ... we can win.