The Satanic Supplement

Adaptable,adj. Hypocritical in a manner useful to oneself.

Cold-blooded,adj. Unduly dispassionate about a subject over which your own mature consideration obliges you to emote.

Eyeball,n. A spheroid which is rarely welcome outside its own orbit.
Drusilla is wont to evince
A fanatical mistrust of mince;
For in one shepherd's pie
She discovered an eye,
And has never been quite the same since.
Rev. Wibley Beamish

Flying Saucer,n. The brain-pan of a Scientologist.

Greed,n. The consuming passion of the poor and deprived. A similar but virtuous passion exists among the rich and privileged, and is known as business acumen.

Libertarianism,n. The belief that the strong have a right to do as they please to the weak, and that the weak have a right to enjoy their oppression insofar as it pleases them to do so.

Octifongulate,v.i. To branch out simultaneously in eight directions like an electrified tarantula.
She had a more-than-patriotic adoration of the Union Jack, its superimposed crosses and tricoloured octifongulation.
Gribberton Phlorke

Pretentious,adj. A work of art which lacks sufficient modesty to titillate the consumer's modest capacity for understanding.

Sin,n. Any activity which the pious find it expedient to deplore.

Tact,n. Pacification by dissimulation.