The Satanic Supplement

Chronic,adj.(Medical) Consistently profitable.

Economist,n. Commercial theologian, who exploits the ever-expanding market for justifications of the ways of markets.

Famine,n. Emotive term for an economic situation in which consumer demand outweighs commercial opportunity.

Gift,n. A sale with no price-tag and unpredictable credit.

Human Rights,n.pl. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, insofar as these are not incompatible with the convenience of our rulers.

Mind-reader,n. An illiterate.

Parent,n. One half of a child's problems.

Sprocular,adj. Bouncily alive at entirely the wrong hour of the day.
At four in the morning he was still the life and soul, leaping and laughing among the snores with horrifying sprocularity.
Willoughby Flodgett III

Unscrupulous,adj. Not visibly deterred by your threats, thus forcing you to take the riskier step of committing actual atrocity.