The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Monday, March 06, 2006

News 2020

Bowell defends dumping

The Secretary for Post-Olympic Real Estate Trauma, Isa Bowell, has angrily refuted claims that his marital separation is a result of allegations about his wife's financial dealings.

Mr Bowell's wife, Millie Stone-Davey, is under investigation for various alleged financial irregularities, but not for having saluted anybody's indefatigability.

Mr Bowell, whom friends today described as "shaken but bearing up well" after the Prime Minister telephoned to offer his "unequivocal support", has always denied knowing anything about the alleged irregularities.

"I never knew anything about any irregularities which I'm certain did not happen and will be found to have been totally innocent, and I'm filing for divorce anyway," Mr Bowell told MPs yesterday.

The minister, who emerged smiling from today's session with the Parliamentary Standards Ombudsperson, was quick to deny that his marital separation was simply one of "convenience".

"This is a true separation, an honest separation, a separation which is the very definition of open government," he said. "It is firm yet friendly, comprehensive without being extremist, irrevocable yet not irrecoverable, private yet also deeply public."

Mr Bowell went on to denounce the "smear tactics of guilt by association" which he said had been used by "certain Islamo-single-mother sections of the media" and to call for a return to "the honest political style of Old New Labour, where 'I will not resign' wasn't treated as a dirty word".

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