Shit Happens

A report by a government strategy group has warned that the 2012 Olympics are at risk from London's drainage system. The Olympics site is "close to the biggest sewage overflow pumping station in London", a notion which pleases me no end. I can't imagine why.

In order that this particular white elephant remain pristine and unmuddied, the strategy group has "recommended that the government build a £1.7bn 'super sewer' under the Thames, stretching 22 miles from Hammersmith to Barking". The strategy group has stated, with devastating optimism, that "work would have to start on the super sewer early this year in order to be ready in time for the Olympics". The water regulator, Ofwat, has pronounced this a "risky project" which would cost an extra £45 a year on the water bills of Londoners, Presumably the costs of the half-dozen annual droughts which separate the Olympic year from the present one must also be taken into account.

The strategy group "warned last November that there was currently a 100% chance of sewage overflows in the area between May and October". In Oldspeak, this means that, unless something changes, an overflow will certainly take place. It has happened before. In August 2004, a storm caused "billions of gallons of sewage to be pumped into the river Thames, killing thousands of fish" and, no doubt, several million beer cans and plastic bags. In the event of a "moderate summer storm" during the Olympics, the drains would overflow and millions of gallons of sewage would be swept up the river Lee. The sight and smell, according to the report, could cause the games to be "ruined". That is a point of view, of course. There's no accounting for taste.