The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Friday, December 16, 2005

News 2020

Scientists predict advertising revolution

The effort and difficulty involved in seeking out consumer information may soon be a thing of the past, scientists say.

Advances in microscopic and genetic surgery could enable doctors to implant a small receiver into the human brain which would enable it to receive direct signals from transmitters located in the vicinity or even further afield.

"It could be a very simple procedure, like having an inoculation," said Dr Marillion Quinsy of the National Institution for Cerebral Enhancement (NICE).

"One approach would be to enable companies to sponsor the procedure for individual foetuses, in return for a built-in receptivity to that company's products," Dr Quinsy continued.

"The transmitters would be very unobtrusive, possibly almost microscopic, so that hundreds of them could be embedded in almost any surface," he said.

The procedure could lead to the end of advertising billboards and commercial breaks on television within the next thirty years, said media expert Bradley Ichneumon.

"The potentialities for civic beautification are obviously considerable," Dr Ichneumon said, although he warned that it may be necessary to retain TV commercials because of the human attention span, which is thought to be genetically determined at 26 minutes' duration or less.

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