News 2020
Prime Minister "satisfied" with influence on US attitude
The United States has walked out of the negotiations to agree an agenda for preliminary talks towards agreeing voluntary measures to curb climate change.
The US produces a third of the world's greenhouse gases, or a quarter if White House speeches are discounted.
The American negotiating team, headed by former international suspect tenderiser Bolton John, said that the negotiations constituted an attempt by rivals to undermine American economic supremacy.
"These so-called negotiations require anti-market commitments from the American economy," the Commander-in-Chief said today. "The American economy does not commit. The American economy rocks."
The British Prime Minister, who has on three occasions had televised sexual intercourse with the Commander-in-Chief's second favourite dog in an effort to encourage US participation in the talks, was said by aides to be "satisfied" with the outcome of the talks.
"The United States has a long and proud tradition of independence and the Prime Minister has telephoned Washington to reiterate Britain's pride and happiness in that fact," said Downing Street spokesperson Inigo Squabbs.
Speaking from one of the more air-conditioned of the White House press bunkers, the Commander-in-Chief condemned the 159 signatories to the preliminary agenda which was agreed today.
"America views with grave misapprehensivitisation the deliberate actions of much of the world in being out of step with the United States," he said.
The United States has walked out of the negotiations to agree an agenda for preliminary talks towards agreeing voluntary measures to curb climate change.
The US produces a third of the world's greenhouse gases, or a quarter if White House speeches are discounted.
The American negotiating team, headed by former international suspect tenderiser Bolton John, said that the negotiations constituted an attempt by rivals to undermine American economic supremacy.
"These so-called negotiations require anti-market commitments from the American economy," the Commander-in-Chief said today. "The American economy does not commit. The American economy rocks."
The British Prime Minister, who has on three occasions had televised sexual intercourse with the Commander-in-Chief's second favourite dog in an effort to encourage US participation in the talks, was said by aides to be "satisfied" with the outcome of the talks.
"The United States has a long and proud tradition of independence and the Prime Minister has telephoned Washington to reiterate Britain's pride and happiness in that fact," said Downing Street spokesperson Inigo Squabbs.
Speaking from one of the more air-conditioned of the White House press bunkers, the Commander-in-Chief condemned the 159 signatories to the preliminary agenda which was agreed today.
"America views with grave misapprehensivitisation the deliberate actions of much of the world in being out of step with the United States," he said.
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