Deliver Us From E-Cards
I am in receipt of a Christmas e-card from Matt Carter, General Secretary of Blair Enterprises plc. Its title, "What did Rudolf say to the snowman?" seems to give a fair indication of Matt Carter's estimation of intellectual levels among New Labour activists. Matt Carter "runs the machine built by Peter Mandelson, among others, to put the unions in their place and win elections".
The e-card itself consists of a picture of a parcel-laden sleigh against a dark blue backdrop splotched with outsized snowflakes. Most of the snowflakes are about the same size as the parcels, which presumably is not intended to tell us anything about either the magnitude of New Labour's beneficence or the effects on the weather of New Labour's lack of an effective environmental policy. Matt Carter once spoke at a conference to reassure activists against perceptions of "politicians failing to deliver . . . and all somehow in it for themselves."
Five of the parcels are labelled with "Minimum Wage" and "Sure Start" and "Low Inflation" and "Debt Relief" and "More Police". These are five nice things which New Labour has achieved for Britain. Two more of the parcels also have labels, but the labels are not readable. Perhaps they contain nice surprises for the police and the CBI.
Curiously, none of the parcels is labelled "Terrorism Reduced" or "Wage Gap Narrowed" or "NHS Saved" or "No Top-up Fees" or "Education Improved" or "International Law Upheld" or "Less Pollution" or "Better Public Transport" or "Mass Destruction Averted" or, indeed, anything else that might have given Labour activists a pleasant Christmas surprise. On the other hand, Matt Carter does supply a witty punchline. The question, as you may recall, was "What did Rudolf say to the snowman?" The witty reply is, "It's not just Santa that delivers!" The witty exclamation mark is in the original. Matt Carter is a witty Doctor of Philosophy.
The sleigh has no driver, not even George W Bush, and appears to be in free-fall. One might think the same of Matt Carter's sense of humour, except for the note beneath the picture: "Thank you for helping to re-elect a Labour Government in 2005. Please give generously today, so we can continue to deliver for Britain in 2006."
The e-card itself consists of a picture of a parcel-laden sleigh against a dark blue backdrop splotched with outsized snowflakes. Most of the snowflakes are about the same size as the parcels, which presumably is not intended to tell us anything about either the magnitude of New Labour's beneficence or the effects on the weather of New Labour's lack of an effective environmental policy. Matt Carter once spoke at a conference to reassure activists against perceptions of "politicians failing to deliver . . . and all somehow in it for themselves."
Five of the parcels are labelled with "Minimum Wage" and "Sure Start" and "Low Inflation" and "Debt Relief" and "More Police". These are five nice things which New Labour has achieved for Britain. Two more of the parcels also have labels, but the labels are not readable. Perhaps they contain nice surprises for the police and the CBI.
Curiously, none of the parcels is labelled "Terrorism Reduced" or "Wage Gap Narrowed" or "NHS Saved" or "No Top-up Fees" or "Education Improved" or "International Law Upheld" or "Less Pollution" or "Better Public Transport" or "Mass Destruction Averted" or, indeed, anything else that might have given Labour activists a pleasant Christmas surprise. On the other hand, Matt Carter does supply a witty punchline. The question, as you may recall, was "What did Rudolf say to the snowman?" The witty reply is, "It's not just Santa that delivers!" The witty exclamation mark is in the original. Matt Carter is a witty Doctor of Philosophy.
The sleigh has no driver, not even George W Bush, and appears to be in free-fall. One might think the same of Matt Carter's sense of humour, except for the note beneath the picture: "Thank you for helping to re-elect a Labour Government in 2005. Please give generously today, so we can continue to deliver for Britain in 2006."
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